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Nude Airlines – The Safest Way To Fly

Security vs. Privacy

To bring in the new year, Canadian airports across Canada are installing full body scanners.  All of this is in an effort to comply with American regulations and make the airways “terrorist free“. While some passengers welcome this move and see it as an improvement making their flight safer, others view the scanners as nothing more than an invasion of privacy.

Well for those who are worried about the airport security employee behind the screen getting their thrills, I have to say, “really?”  If the images that are visible to the airport security staff are similar to those shown in the CBC news article, then there is not much to worry about.  Sure the body scanners reveal an image without clothes, but if you look the article you will see that the images are not exactly “Playboy” material.  But there are those very opposed to the scanners proving you must always balance the benefit of security with the cost of privacy.

 

Fly Nude, Fly Safely

But what if there was a way to improve security without stepping on the privacy rights of individuals?  Why don’t airlines start offering nude flights where passengers wear nothing but their birthday suits?  By offering nude flights, the government, airlines and travel agencies can honor an individual’s freedom of expression.  Travel sites such as FlightCentre.com, Expedia.com, and travelocity.com, can now offer their naturist travelers another option. Those who value security above all else can call their travel agents to book a nude flight or as the nudist say, “clothing optional flights“.  Others who value privacy over security can take their chances with the “clothed flights“.  And best of all, it is totally safe!

Nude Flights Barely Cost Anything

Best of all nude flights offer our struggling airline industry a significant cost savings.  Airlines such as Southwest Airlines, American Airlines, Air Canada, and United Airlines can all enjoy the extra profits.  Aside from the lower fuel costs from passengers without the weight of clothing, there will be:

  • No need to install expensive body scanning equipment
  • No need to offer in flight meals to passengers (from loss of appetite, if you have been wanting to lose a few of those Christmas pounds, just take a good long look at the photo above)
  • No need to have leather upholstery (which will also appease the animal activists)

Nude Flights Our Answer To Terrorism

In the “war against terror”, nudism may be enlisted as our secret weapon.  Flying buck naked will almost surely stop a would be terrorist from smuggling a bomb onto the plane (notice how I said “almost surely”).  Not only will it be next to impossible to smuggle explosives onto a plane but any would be terrorist would surely be frightened by all the skin, hair and moles waiting for them on the plane (notice how I said “next to impossible” but not impossible).  In this way, nude flights can be our answer to terrorism.  A response that says, “Al Qeada, we too hide weapons beneath our clothes“. Just try board a nude flight and we’ll show them our “axis of evil”.  Using nudism to fight terrorism has such simple elegance, it’s just one “ism” to fight another….a tried and true approach.

So there you have it, nude flights is a simple and inexpensive way to improve airport security, fight terrorist and preserve the freedom of expression all at once.

Photo by Rahim Packir Saibo

Photo by garybembridge